The Holiday Test
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posted by Vicky Jo at 12:55 AM
Monday, May 21, 2007
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2 Comments:
I dread February. My Mother, my Sister, my Brother, and my Wife were all born in February, two before February 14'th and two after. I wish I could find a way to get on top of it so I can change it into an opportunity to make them all feel loved instead.
admittedly, i was less than pleased with the 'holiday test'. by all appearances, i am so not a holiday person - so much so that, reading this challenge, even *i* was willing to 'sacrifice' my INFJ preference just to be an 'anti-holiday' person! but, after a few reflective moments, i decided that this is not my battle, but my husband's. after all, he *is* an INFP.
being an introvert, stay-at-homeschool mom of 4 children (ages 10-5), and wife to an INFP: i've had to seriously reform this concept of 'holiday' for the sake of... well, emotional well-being. my husband would be content never to commemorate another public holiday again. as for me, i love the significance of holidays, but i do not feel the need to celebrate at the cost of precious energy and authentic interaction.
my solution has been to keep our family celebrations simple and intimate: no parties, no heavy-duty preparation, no wrapping paper, no 'kitschy' (ie, store-bought) decorations, no necessity for clean-up. to resist materialism, we keep gifts to a bare minimum (quality over quantity). to resist commercialism, we remove materialism from the public holiday itself -- like celebrating gift-giving on december 6 instead of the 24th/25th, or celebrating our love for each other (special dates, gifts, etc.) throughout the year instead of on feb 12. looking back on my relationship with my husband, i can see how we both have adapted to honor each others' values as well as the values of our ESFJ-ish family members. i can also see how being a multi-cultural/multi-ethnic family has provided a gracious environment for this kind of adaptation. (i am from asia; my husband is a kiwi-american who grew up in asia.)
while i do enjoy social interactions, i really have to count the costs. it can take me a significant amount of time to recover after a large social event. frankly, i can't afford to spend the bulk of my time 'in recovery' at this time in my family's life.
that said: i will concede to the holiday principle.
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