Monday, October 09, 2006

Introverted Extraverts

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Blogger Bill said...

I haven't had a chance to read the article that made you scream yet.

I am wondering what using introverted Sensing to be beneficial to others would look like, and whether ESFJ might also feel confusion on whether they fit the mold on being an introvert or an extravert. My wife claims she falls into the crack between the two. She calls herself an "ambivert".

October 17, 2006  
Blogger Bill said...

I didn't screem, but I wondered if this is what a mouse in a laboratory feels like. Many times I wanted to say, "We're people, just ask us!" But of course that wouldn't be objective scientific observation. I wondered at one point if this was a farce on the scientific method. It particularly made me feel like people were referencing me in third person in my presence. It felt like the seed of a wounded heart.

I could see someone creating a remake of "Revolt of the Nerds" except they would call it "Revolt of the Introverts." The only problem with that would be many actors and film makers are also introverts.

October 19, 2006  
Blogger Vicky Jo said...

I love this idea! Why is it a problem if so many actors prefer introversion?

October 19, 2006  
Blogger Bill said...

Oh I didn't mean it that way. I meant it's just stupid for the writer of this article to take this attitude when so many of this country's most worshipped heroes are themselves introverts.

October 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Vicky Jo. First, I want to thank you for this good work you're doing. Second, I posted earlier this year on one of your posts and you suggested I look into ENFP as a preference. I was all nice about it but believe me it didn't feel nice at all. I've had prejudices about extraverts as shallow, superficial etc and I couldn't possibly accept it at the time.

Good news is, I've come full circle! I've read and read and read and thought and watched until I was about to throw in the towel as I felt I was going nuts trying to figure me out. I completely understand Dr. Beebe's frustration.

Any way, I just wanted to talk a bit about how I sorted through the confusion and finally settled on my true type. I hope it's useful.

The turning point for me was truly understanding the four interaction styles and the true meaning of the J/P dichotomy, plus watching out for the manifestations of the eight archetypes in my daily life (This was certainly the most confusing for me)

I believed for a long time that I had the chart-the-course interaction style. Then I thought In-charge was closer and thought I was enfj, then back to infj again.

The confusion comes in (at least for me)when the preference for judging is described as organizing. I thrive in chaos and crisis. When unforeseeable things happen, I become very grounded while my mind flashes solutions and I direct everyone on what to do and how to solve the problem.

What I don't do is planning (Or at least am absolutely terrible here, positively frightening) When I have to do something say by next week, or am given work to plan for, I could guarantee that whatever way i organize how to do this work simply wont work.

so after I understood what kind of organizing I prefer, ie in the moment organizing rather than goals and planning, I knew my approach to the world couldn't be Judging.

Then I realized that I have the get-things-going interaction style when I evaluated my behaviour in a group setting. While I may be very serious and quiet at times, I can't behave like this when am chatting with two, three people, if it would save me! I may be in a horrible mood but when we are talking it'll vanish for that while and return when am alone. I cant even act mad at someone who upset me if they engage me in interaction. If am not talking to you, you just chat me up and am lost! The only way I could maintain the stand-offish attitude would be to avoid interacting altogether.

I also caught myself acting chidish and proud about a plan/instructions that people at home didn't want to follow. I even throw tantrums about it and get all wounded, its embarrassing later on when I really see myself in that state.(Dont tease my TE!) But funny enough if there's some unexpected situation/crisis, no one will even question what I decide. There's strength in me that gives me and them confidence about my actions/decisions.

And Enfps also share there experiences to bond with others too! And their thoughts and opinions. I hope this helps someone.

October 31, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, hey it’s me again, the enfp who finally discovered her type! I meant to talk about another source of confusion in the previous post but forgot. I hope I don’t tire you out.

It’s about the descriptions that say we’re very outgoing. I am very very much an in-door girl. I think such statements can send people on a wrong path. What I do enjoy is the people, especially those who are different, like from another country, culture etc.

The kind of ‘outgoingness’ that people seem to refer to when they describe us is I think more of an extraverted sensing kind of outgoingness. I have really zero interest in experiencing any thing concrete, places, things unless it’s very interesting like landmarks, historically significant places/things e.g. I have no interest in shopping (Unless it’s a book store!) or places with noise etc.

I was confused cause the few times I have gone out I both enjoyed myself and felt stifled. I now realize that it was the people I enjoyed, always. It’s never other things though sometimes they can be fun. My ideal time is hosting my friends at home with food, stories and laughing. We don’t have to go anywhere.

I think the initiatives I do take have to do with learning about different ways of living, cultures, beliefs etc. These really get me jazzed up! I’m not even shy about initiating conversations with strangers in such settings and asking questions about them that some people can find intrusive, maybe? But a lot of times people indulge me a lot. What drives me is curiosity. Why are we humans the way we are? Such questions can send me talking to people, searching for answers, and initiating all sorts of relationships. I can’t seem to turn my mind off many times. I can also talk for hours and hours on end if the person indulged me, But I can also spend days in my room.

November 01, 2009  
Anonymous C P said...

Thank you for clearing this up. Long ago I took the Myers Briggs Inventory and got the INFP result. Tonight I took a personality test that came back as INFJ. Reading the descriptions of both types confused me. After reading "Your Preferred Communication Style," I must say I'm definitely an INFP. Again, thank you for clearing that up.

December 20, 2014  

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