Monday, August 21, 2006

J / P Returns !

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Blogger Bill said...

There is no doubt in my mind that I am INFP, but when I go into a restaurant, I much prefer to get the ordering over with so the decision is done, and I can relax. There is practically nothing more stressful to me than indecision. When it comes to the budget, I want to know where everything has to go before anything is spent, but I do prefer to have options available, for unexpected circumstances. What makes me uncomfortable is when things are laid in granite unchangable, days or months in advance. I like to have the option to reconsider my decisions when I get into the process. At a restaurant, you are starting in the process. What I don't do well on is laying down plans for things well in advance.

September 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Bill,

Yours is a very powerful point and I'm grateful that you brought it up from your own experience. I have INFP prefs, and feel (there's the key word) precisely the way you do about 'getting it over with.' For a very long time, this aspect of my behaviour convinced me that I had to be a J.

However, it's been my observed self-experience that I actually don't mind indecision in and of itself -- what I don't like is decisions that are perceived, by me, to be "in the way" of the space of an experience.

For example, at a restaurant, I will want to order quickly because once doing so, I can (as you have written), relax. I can allow myself to experience the event without this thing -- ordering something -- in the way. So in other words, I want to "get it done", but not because of the energy that releases from completion; I want to get it done because it's a lingering thing and until it's done, it occupies mental inner space. It clogs my space.

So to outsiders, I look very decisive and firm -- but it's because I don't like things "hanging around" in my mental space. The more I can decide, the more that can be PUT aside.

For this reason, too, I often will want to know what "the plan for tomorrow is going to be" (or next week, or whatever). NOT because I like planning. *I HATE PLANNING* -- hate is not strong enough of a word. Plans *suffocate*! AHhhh! But unless I know where the 'events' are -- meeting someone, eating somewhere, walking the dog, etc. -- then they just stretch out and take up space.

So, again, I seem much more organized than I am. Or, to put it another way, I appear to need organization much more than I actually do. I organize NOT to "be organized", and certainly not because I feel that being organized is better (I've known enough organized IDIOTS to know that organization in and of itself is not helpful). I'm organized because it gives me more CONTROL over my inner space. I know where the 'things I have to do' are, so they can't take up more space than is absolutely required.

Does this also resonate with you?

September 06, 2007  
Blogger Vicky Jo said...

(I confess to wondering whether any of that is cultural, or a result of maturity.)

September 06, 2007  

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