Don't Worry Be Happy
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posted by Vicky Jo at 2:58 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
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- Name: Vicky Jo
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
I coach people to identify and develop their natural personality strengths in order to maximize their potential.
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12 Comments:
That sounds an awful lot like Ni to me. And the more the "pictures in your head" tend to be positive, the more likely it is that you are using Ni in a developed, ego-systonic way. It seems like the lower on the personality "rung" the process of Ni is, the more negative its use is.
So now I'm wondering.... is there a question in your post, or are you simply sharing something about yourself...?
No, it's about naming things. Naming Fi would be one of those "things."
It looks feasible there is a relationship of some kind -- I'm not sure whether it's introverted Sensing showing up deflated though.
Does this mean that INFPs are excellent at living in the moment, or just that this is a problem for INFJs?
Because I wouldn't call myself a Don't Worry Be Happy person. However, I definitely don't NEED things planned out in advance. I tend to take life as it comes and not get very stressed out -- when I was in high school, I never got very stressed over studying for tests or finishing projects. I just got started (eventually...after much procrastinating...) and then plugged away at it.
Still, I AM a bit of a worrier. I really don't know...
When I was a kid the pop-reggae song "Don't Worry Be Happy" was a radio hit. I HATED that song so much and didn't know why. It just seemed so stupid, shallow and annoying to me. Problems are meant to be solved. "Solving" the problem by not worrying about it is escapism and living in denial. I like to get to the core of problems, the root cause, if you will, to unravel the mess. I hate it how so often only the symptoms of problems are treated and not the root cause. A 300 foot tall redwood tree grows from a 3 inch long pine cone. The same way a tiny mistake can turn into a huge problem in the course of time. So solving the tiny problem at the right time can alleviate so much suffering in the future. That is my attitude. I eat healthy organic and often vegetarian or vegan food because I don't want to suffer chronic diseases later. Many people wait to change until it is too late or just never change at all. Like alcoholics or drug addicts. At first they feel pleasure and do not see the consequences of their actions. Until they hit rock bottom or even die, they will not change. Being an INFJ is like having a mental picture of all the "rock bottoms" that come as the consequences of behaviors and trying to avoid them by making corrections early and avoiding going down the wrong paths in life. Using FE, we try to help others (friends and family) do the same thing, but often they can't see what we can of the future ramifications so they don't take our advice. This is one of the major frustrations of being an INFJ. We say NO! don't cut down that forest to make paper towels: the consequences will be far worse that just using cloth towels and washing them. But society says people need jobs producing distributing and selling paper towels or else the economy will suffer. And we say isn't the forest(a glorious creation of God) more important that a landfill full of used paper towels (a creation of man)?
It is really interesting to hear how you feel about that phrase/song "don't worry - be happy". I am an INFP and I kind of like the song and strongly dislike it at the same time. Just now, when reading your posts and thinking: "nah, I don't relate it to planning" it remembered why I was critical towards it in the first place. It is provoking because it is telling people how they should feel or face life - which is ridiculous! The thing I like is that it expresses this really nice laid back feeling of being open towards what life brings you. It makes sense, I think, that we perceive it so differently. :-)
I love that you mentioned this. I think it hit my radar on the previous blog comment, but have been too busy to post about it.
What you're highlighting is the violation of *values* -- telling people how they *should* feel.
I get it! I don't like being told I can't plan ahead; you don't like being told how to feel (especially if your feelings are a reflection of your values I daresay, which no doubt they typically are!).
Of course, I too used to hate it when complete strangers would come up to me and say "smile!" as if I were a trained seal or something. (That still happens a lot. Apparently I look pretty fierce when I'm not wearing my "happy face." Nevertheless, I resent it.)
Thanks again for pointing this out to me. ;-)
PS: I think I'll find some pictures to show my "happy face" and my "neutral face," and you can rate them or something. Let's hope the "neutral face" doesn't crack your monitor, lol!
Hmm I've always felt I seem to have qualities belonging to both types, but with regards to this one, I'm quite INFP.
I don't like thinking about the future too much...especially about details. For example, I'm also going to college this year, and now that I've finished all the admin stuff, at least for the time being, I'm just chilling. My mom, though, tells me to make a list of all I'll need and she talks to me about details like what I'm going to eat at night. And I just think: "Mom, things are going to work out. You don't have to always have things go exactly as you wish."
I don't know if "Don't worry be happy" applies to me, but I definitely identify with another Marley expression: "Everything's gonna be alright."
When I was younger, I planned everything out in my head. I was a "plan freak", as you might call it. It felt reassuring to always have a plan in mind and to always know exactly what I would be doing next. Nowadays (though I am still in middle school), I feel lazy and unchallenged by the curriculum. I hardly ever make plans anymore, but things move along pretty well. I find myself scrawling many details in my agenda, but other than that, my orderly nature seems to be slipping away. Perhaps this is because my surroundings are not intellectually stimulating, causing me to feel drained and unwilling to go so far as make plans.
I have taken quite a few free online assessments; most of them turn up as INFJ, but I get dishonest because I partly want to be an INFJ instead of an INFP. Neither one seems to fit me perfectly; either one has traits that describe my behavior. To be honest, most of them point to me being an INFP.
I'm confused, though (well, as confusing as this gets), because my behavior only a few years ago strikes such a clear difference to who I am now. I suppose part of it was learned behavior against nature, but I can't be sure. Anyway, now I consider myself an INFP. Hope that helped :)
So here's a totally intuitive hit on my part, based on... intuition. Have you taken a look at ENFP?
Maybe I'm grinding an ax, but lately I've been meeting so many ENFPs who are getting INFJ results somewhere.
You may hate that idea, and all I can say is that extraversion may not be what you think it is. Truthfully, I don't even talk about E/I much anymore. I go for interaction style definitions and harvest my E/I from the dimensions in that model.
I say it again: extraversion may not be what you think.
haha I've heard it a hundred times and it's not very good to be told how to feel. But it does have an impact on me, because I do plan a lot. Sometimes I have to consciosly stop making plans with "hmm, hold on a sec, you don't really need to plan THAT ahead, so just take a break, ok" ;) I can also make plans for complex systems (for example planning a trip or designing interior workings of software), but this kind of planning is different and tires me out.
And I think at some point I started to say this phrase to other people, but it really means "don't worry I've got everything under control". The singer probably ment it the other way :) An INTJ friend of mine never uses this phrase (his attitude: it doesn't matter if you worry or not, I still got everything under control).
I also read those popular articles about "beeing here and now". I understand the principles and it does sound very attractive (almost magical) quality, however it's very hard to achieve it for me.
I can totally relate to the "pictures in the head thing"
My mind usually tries to see every possibility and prepare for it. But only when it involves other people. I'm a pretty solid INFP. When it comes to things that just concern me I don't do it at all. Maybe it comes from having very judging parents growing up.
Anytime I can be in the moment and not think about the future, it is SO relaxing and peaceful.
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