Cognitive Dynamics
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posted by Vicky Jo at 2:56 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
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1 Comments:
Reading the descriptions of Fi and Fe have really helped me get a handle on some things. From the Fe description: "The “social graces,” such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling. Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling. "I can identify rather heavily with all of that. It's like I have a taskmaster in my head whipping me when I'm in social situations, telling me "they made a joke - laugh!", "she's crying - sympathize!", or "they're not getting along - do something!" But the taskmaster is just that, a master, and I am a slave. I never feel comfortable with this at all, and it is not usually a comfortable experience.
Here's where it gets tough: "Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others’ feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs." I can ALWAYS separate my feelings from those of another. In the event that I feel the same way someone else does, I can always identify it as my feeling and know why I am feeling it. And because I typically experience my feelings as being separate from those of others, I can feel pressured and enslaved by Fe. I often feel an odd detachment from other people. Well it's odd to me, since I am a social being yet don't always feel quite part of the human social network.
Then there's this from the Fi description: "We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” " Now I can do this, and I feel better after having done that, but it's hard to get up the strength and power to do. If that's all I knew about Fi, then I'd think it didn't fit me since standing up for my values does not feel easy, just necessary.
Yet the description continues: "On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones. "That is an excellent description and fits me to a T. The public nature of "standing up for your values" always feels like an uncomfortable fit to this introvert, and a lot of INFP descriptions seem to focus a bit on that. Often, I'd rather retreat from the world than stand up in it. But since I need to be a part of the world, I am always scanning and appraising everyone, everything, every image, every idea, and every possibility for the ones that truly resonate with me, and then I can stand up for them
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