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posted by Vicky Jo at 2:54 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
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- Name: Vicky Jo
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
I coach people to identify and develop their natural personality strengths in order to maximize their potential.
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3 Comments:
It seems to me that the online descriptions I've looked at mention enough about introverted feeling to not be biased the way that webside auther suggests.(I would like to ask that auther for examples of 'sacharine descriptions' but I can't find her darn e-mail on her fairly difficult to navigate page)
This is an issue, however, that INFPs probably take VERY personally. I was once talking to an INFP friend about this. I asked her if it annoyed her when I made an eye-roll or sarcastic 'flowy' hand motion whenever she mentioned something woo-woo (as you put it). She said that it didn't annoy her. Then later in the conversation, I was talking about something completely different (I forgot what) and she asked me "how does that make you feel?". Then the person sitting across from us started cracking up at what he saw as a pshycho-babble cliche. The Infp said that the kid sitting across from us did annoy her, and she went as far as to uncomfortably DIRECT him to stop laughing. She said that she thought that "how do you feel about that" is an important question that isn't asked nearly often enough in our culture, and that it's unfortunate that people are considered 'doofy' or weak if they have to see a psychologist.
By the way, I sort of feel bad about talking about my friend. I feel like I might be talking behind her back, even though I'm not insulting her at all. Is this kind of talking-about-other-people to-present-relevant-examples-of-type-conflicts innapropriate? If you're not sure about the answer to that, we could e-mail Miss Manners and ask her. (ha ha ha)
I am INFP and Elizabeth Buie's description resonated with me. I haven't found other descriptions to be misleading however. As to being too spaced out or 'sweet', I think that's just how others tend to see you. I get called 'intense' more often that 'spaced out', but that is really only when I am talking about something I feel very strongly about. Most of the time I live happily inside my own head and prefer to be allowed to potter around rather than being organised by somebody else (especially my husband or children). My kids often have to ask me a question several times before I hear them. I guess they would call me 'spaced out'.
I attended a writing workshop 18 months ago and a number of the women who attended (and were definitely NOT INFP) told me I was 'sweet'. These women were complaining about a fellow student who had previously always been quiet and unassuming and had gotten very angry with one of the women over a comment she had made. It was unlike this man to get nasty, but he made an unnecessary personal comment. They dismissed this man as just being a dumb a**, but I just felt he was being unfairly judged. I said it was unlike him to get nasty and there was something else not right, and not to jump to conclusions. This was when I was tagged as 'sweet'. Apparently I was too nice to criticise someone else in the class and 'always thought the best of people'. Ten minutes later, the teacher walked in and informed us that the said student had apologised for his behaviour and explained that he was in fact suffering an unspecified disease which caused him fairly constant pain. The other women in the class shut up about me being 'sweet' after that. It was nice to get such a validation so quickly. (I had no idea of this man's health problems)
It was all in the perception of the situation. Not sweet, just feel very strongly about unfair accusations and my own intuition.
You asked for examples, so I hope it's OK that I get specific here. When I think of saccharine INFP descriptions, TypeLogic's comes to mind. For example: "rose-colored glasses," "quixotic," the excess of quotes, and the entire paragraph spent on childhood fantasy and imaginary friends. Kind of feels like it's overemphasizing the... kookiness, shall we say ;)
To add to the confusion, some major parts of the TypeLogic INFJ description could easily be attributed to a normal INFP. Read it over and see what you think... What INFP can't relate to the idea of "deep convictions about the weightier matters of life" that lie beneath the surface, or "champions of the oppressed and downtrodden"? I would say those aspects are more essential to the INFP (or NF in general) outlook than the whole fantasy bit.
links: http://typelogic.com/infp.html
http://typelogic.com/infj.html
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