Wish I Had a Nickel
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posted by Vicky Jo at 3:23 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
About Me
- Name: Vicky Jo
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
I coach people to identify and develop their natural personality strengths in order to maximize their potential.
Please contact me to arrange a free strategy session -- I would be delighted to speak with you.
Previous Posts
- Individuation or Evolution
- Fe Fi Fo Fum
- Slaying Dragons
- Perfect Example of Fi
- Being and Doing
- How the Processes Show Up
- Vote Again
- Type Too Simple
- Gems
- Similarities and Differences
6 Comments:
So what are you saying, Bill...? If every INFP in the world got regular shots of testosterone, then the label of being a "wimp" would vanish...?
:-/
Not sure what I think about that. It feels kind of sci-fi fiction oppressive Big Brother or something.
Does it not seem a better idea to reform the culture to appreciate the positive aspects of the INFP pattern? Or is that just my naive perspective?
Bill...
I have to say that this paragraph you wrote makes me unbelievably uncomfortable:
Actually many changes are starting to occur now, but what did it take to get the culture's attention? Well after several feed up victims of bullies took guns to school and shot up their classmates, the culture suddenly decides that bullying should no longer be considered just a normal part of growing up. Ha Ha.
It has a real "eye-for-an-eye" energy around it. Is that really something you want to espouse...?
Let me take it a step further, and I am hoping some archetype of mine will rise up and stop you in your tracks. I want to get your attention.
John Beebe says that anytime we do something to somebody with the energy of "They Deserved It" that we are in the realm of EVIL. That's a justification our ego uses to excuse our unethical acts. Are you hearing me, Bill-INFP-pattern-who-thinks-a-lot-about-the-problem-of-evil?? EVIL.
The coach in me is jumping up and down and pointing as hard as I can, because I would like this to get your attention. I believe this is a place where you have a BIG opportunity to get CONSCIOUS.
Will you rise to the occasion? Or do you want to live in the land of justification...?
What will you choose, Bill?
Bill --
I'm a coach. No, I don't think you're about that -- but I CAN'T ignore that you wrote it. You wrote it! So for me to step over that fact would mean ignoring something really important. You can call it a "Freudian slip" if you wish, but it's a mistake to just step over it.
And the rest is up to you. You can either shrug it off and pretend you didn't say it, or you can spend some time with yourself looking there and discovering what that's about. Because my hunch is that there's a lot of energy around that which you would benefit from looking at. It's too EASY to shrug it off and just say, "I didn't mean that." Because some part of you did mean it enough that you wrote it for everybody to look at. Dya follow me?
And here's the next thing: you may think it's futile to reform our culture... I don't. I know people all around me who are doing it. I just took a workshop over the weekend called The Bigger Game and was Blown Away by the people who are stepping into reforming our culture. And guess what? It's already happening. People who work with leaders are noticing a trend away from the "command-and-control" style of the past toward the "collaborative" style that is now emerging. Jim Collins' book Good to Great had a huge impact, and people are sitting up and taking notice.
I would like YOU to visit this website and really immerse yourself in what they're up to. In the workshop I attended, the leaders showed a 15 minute video clip, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house afterward. If you don't think our culture can be reformed around bullies, this website will prove differently. I further encourage you -- no, CHALLENGE YOU -- to get involved with what these people are up to, because the coach in me has a hunch this is work you would be drawn to, and it's work YOU need to do in order to heal your own wounds of the past and take back your power.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
-Margaret Mead
From my experience as an INFP, growing up it always took a lot to get me to hesitantly stand up for myself as I would always do my best to avoid conflict.
I'm actually very physically strong, and somewhat tall for a female, but I've never acted out in violent ways in order to get my point across [with the exception of living around two older brothers], I've always put off a sort of "gentle giant" vibe for this reason.
Luckily for me, at the same time, my physical stature alone and demeanor, provided an air of intimidation (Or so I've been told), and kept me out of trouble so far as having my wallflower nature openly exploited. I was never teased or bullied, although people that I had allowed to get close to me in the past were able to take advantage of my passiveness and sensitivity. [Some still do]
Soooo....due to my quiet, "intimidating" nature, people that got to know me personally never have quite understood or accepted the fact that I have a hard time speaking up for myself, even at times when I have truly suffered in silence.
[And it also doesn't help that when I do feel as if I'm speaking or acting out, it's misinterpreted because I cannot for the life of me be blunt, in person. When I raise my voice, it's still considered a whisper.]
I've found that I'm getting better in a few ways, because I have no choice. I also have a lot of support from my INFJ friend.
And it's incredible what your website has done for me, in terms of helping me to form a clearer understanding of our friendship [ESPECIALLY the differentiation in natural communication preferences, that difference between us has caused so many conflicts and misunderstanding in the past—
ex: She'll describe me as lazy, self sabotaging, irresponsible, selfish, and passive aggressive which will set me off
I'll describe her as angry, judgmental, abrasive, diva and mention having to walk around on eggshells around her which will set her off.
Yet we just can't stay away from one another for too long since we connect on such a deep level with so many things, we often don't have to verbalize communication. So we pretty much put up with one another's quirks] =).
Every once in a while I get a comment on this blog that just -- I don't know the word? -- it just silences me. It expresses some profound truth in a truly authentic and honest way. And there's nothing to be said that would add to it -- it could only diminish it.
Let's say this is one of those comments, and I WILL remark that I am gratified and honored that you shared it with me. Thank YOU.
You should make a post about why you think Ghandi is an INFP rather than INFJ.
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