Being and Doing
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posted by Vicky Jo at 3:21 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
About Me
- Name: Vicky Jo
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
I coach people to identify and develop their natural personality strengths in order to maximize their potential.
Please contact me to arrange a free strategy session -- I would be delighted to speak with you.
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- How the Processes Show Up
- Vote Again
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- Similarities and Differences
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3 Comments:
I wonder though, how does one shift focus? As an INFP, I can see how "being" and not "doing" has had a serious impact on my life. And unlike an ISFP, I haven't been "being" and living in the moment either. I've been "being" and living in the future, which is just no good at all if one wants to actually accomplish something. What kinds of things can I do (lol) to get better at....doing?
Hey Danielle...
I hope others step forward to discuss your inquiry. It's a great question!
And here's what comes up for me. As I pull open my Berens & Nardi book on the Type Code, I notice the INFP description ends like this: "Struggling with structure and getting their lives in order." So apparently this is a signature issue for INFPs. I tell you this so you'll know you're in good company!
When I coach INFPs, I often rely on a Life Wheel to help determine what they want their life to look like. Using this tool, they explain what's important to them (Fi). Then we use a little goal-setting (Ne/Te) to craft a simple plan. And action seems to flow nicely out of that.
What I know with my INFP clients (and ALL my clients, for that matter) is that "should" is NOT a motivator. The real motivator is, "what's important to you?" When an INFP genuinely connects with what's important to them, action flows naturally from that source. When one works from a paradigm of "what's important," a cost/benefits analysis might help create movement, especially when the INFP confronts what they risk LOSING by not taking action. Sometimes I have the client imagine how they will FEEL once they have accomplished their goal, and thereby recruit Sensing to increase motivation (or to discover whether they're missing the mark with this goal).
If an INFP is not congruent with their values and actions (their spine of integrity), movement won't occur. Without congruence, INFPs can get lost in wasting time, trivial brainstorming, or unconscious use of Shadow processes (such as wallowing in the past), and no movement occurs.
What are good ways to SEEK motivation? What I notice is that INFPs are so great at being, it makes sense for them to fit themselves to situations that require their gifts. It's not surprising so many INFPs are employed as therapists, because it allows them to BE with a client, to create the safe container that helps a client heal their life. The greatest gift an INFP can bring to these situations is their natural skill of deep listening. I'm not saying all INFPs should become therapists, but I am saying satisfaction is more likely when there is a match between natural talents and the task at hand. So how can you consciously apply YOUR natural talents to your.... work? school? family? [your area of interest here]
You don't know what interests you? Use your gift of Ne to brainstorm some fresh possibilities for yourself!
My point is, as Marcus Buckingham recommends, it is a good idea to match one's natural strengths to the task. It is kinda unlikely that any INFP will be enthusiastic about, say, digging ditches -- and yet they tend to be quite enthusiastic about BEING with people and LISTENING to them (a slow death for other types!). So if an INFP client asks me how they can get better at digging ditches, I just shake my head and know they're probably out of touch with themselves. They've lost contact with what's really important. (Unless they're digging ditches to honor an important value - such as helping Katrina disaster survivors!)
My point is, it flows from the top down. If the "doing" does not honor a value (meaning, honor the "being"), the followthrough won't happen. Identify what's important, and action flows naturally from there.
Here's more direct from my Coaching School about Being and Doing:
http://tinyurl.com/gsz3x
Let me know how this lands with you. Did I get at what you were asking?
I just stumbled over this. It seems germane and an excellent INFP formula, although I would order it differently:
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple: Know what you're doing. Love what you're doing. And believe in what you're doing.
~Will Rogers
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